Yay, I'm done!

Okay so I really enjoyed this class because there was lots to talk about with all of you guys (classmates, bloggers, etc). I hope you got a lot of this class as well. I know I learned a lot about Native Americans that I hadn't known before and I think for the future I will be more aware. I'm happy to say that I've finished my final paper, and I hope to turn it in, in the next couple hours (revising). I worked really hard on it, but I'm completely out of steam. Might take a nap first.

This has been my first real week of finals so it's been an experience. I hope it wasn't too hard for all of you, but I really need a good nights sleep. I'm a night owl but it was just ridiculous staying up until 4am every night for 3 days. In the future I might prepare myself a bit better.

I wish I had a bit more time to do my paper, I tried to rush it a bit, but I think it still turned out well. Just too much to do in too little time. I'm really looking forward to next quarter, maybe I'll see some of you guys around. Not sure if I will keep these blog or not~! Guess you'll have to find out if you care enough~!

Bye bye everyone!

The Power of Facebook

So I was going through the few poems I have on my computer (most of my poems from the past were in books long lost by now) and I realized little I have the good times. I know that poetry can be an outlet, but I feel that I should try to express myself in more ways than just depression. My mother actually is the one who made me realize this because of Facebook. In my mind I was just telling people how I was feeling and in my own little way asking for their help in cheering me up. So by this definition when I was happy I didn't need help being cheered up so I didn't post anything. Finally, my mom posted up on my way that lately I haven't had anything good to say and that I should appreciate what I have in life. I was really confused because I'm very happy with my life at this point in time so why would she think that I wasn't? So I talked with her about it and we came to realizations. So in an attempt to make her happy I've been posting my feelings and happenings, happy and sad. This way we are both happy.

The point I'm trying to make is I think I shall attempt to write a poem that isn't about tragedy in my life. I'll be taking a class next quarter that is all about writing poetry, I think I might practice a bit. I'll post whatever I come up with soon enough but for now here is one poem I had to write for my last English class. We had to use a certain type of poetry writing, repetition I'm guessing for this one.

I am What I am

Call me a reader.

A person who continues to hunt for knowledge when all others have lost the motivation to keep up on their own.

Call me an adventurer.

Someone who is willing to go anywhere and see everything, seeking out the sights on the peaks of mountains.

Call me a lover

For I have someone precious to me that my heart burns with need from missing him so dearly when we are apart.

Call me a child

Because I never want to lose that kid in my soul that tells me to play in the snow or tape a pillow to my butt when I go skating.

Call me a student

When I never stop asking questions about the things I know nothing about.

Call me a daughter,

One that will never let her parents down and will always run for help if I can’t stand on my own any longer.

Call me a sister,

A big sister who will always watch over and protect that little girl my sister will always be to me.

Call me a leader

Because I will stand out among others and take charge when I am needed or speak my opinion.

Call me a hard worker.

I know what needs to be done and I will go through any trials to earn the things that will make life great.

Call me a person

Because that is all I am, but I am a person that doesn’t lack the nature of lending out a helping hand.

Call me whatever you will,

But know that I will not let you label me.

Cassandra Bruner 10

Past Friends

I had a best friend who was extremely important to me, we even went on a trip to Europe together, but it didn't end well. She was my best friend for years and near the end of our friendship she became a mean and physically abusive person. Finally, after our last fight, we just didn't make up because I didn't want to be near her anymore. Kolh posted on his blog about poetry being his outlet and during this point in my life and the time that I was trying to find my identity, I also wrote a lot of poetry. I've been told I'm not too great at it but this was one of the poems that helped me get over a lost friend.

Life is Different Now

I cut my hair and changed my attitude,
and I am closer to those that actually care.
I walked away from my depression to see
if maybe things could get better for me.
Opening up to the world was difficult,
but I was able to enjoy what life showed me.
I have done it all expect change my name,
and I’m proud of the person I’ve become.
Finally I was doing what I wanted and
without the past negative feedback.

You are not a person I want to be around,
at least now that I’ve opened my eyes.
Even now you try to control my life,
but instead I am the one haunting yours.
You miss me and I can see if from afar,
 and while I am the one having fun, you are sore.
You hide it behind anger toward me,
saying that you hate my stupidity.
Maybe someday you will face the truth,
but until then I hope you suffer and hurt.

Until the day you change like I did,
farewell because I no longer care about you.

Goodbye Kayleigh

Even now, I read this poem and remember how I felt when I wrote it. It doesn't convey what I wish it would but it's hard for me to find the right words I guess. I urge you to talk about your outlets or post a poem or art piece that has helped you emotionally in a hard situation.

Women Drivers

So I was driving down the road the other day thinking about being a new driver. I'm a girl and I'm not too great at being on the road, I won't lie. I don't have much experience yet so mostly I need practice, but I thought about how hard I try not to mess up on the road. I don't want to cause a crash for lots of reasons: I need my car, my mom would kill me for raising her insurance, and I don't want to hurt anyone. Those are out of order but you get my point. No matter how hard I try though I mess up every now and then because of the fact that I don't know the roads too well or what my car will do for certain situations. I tried making a U-turn once at an intersection that allowed it, but in reality when I tried, I realized I didn't have enough room to do so. I ended up holding up traffic because I couldn't make the full turn and it really frustrated me. The other day my boyfriend, Matt, was in the car with me and I tried cutting through a parking lot. As I was doing so another car was ahead of me doing the same thing in the opposite direction. I saw the car and I stopped when I realized that we were going to hit each other if we kept going, but Matt started yelling first. He wasn't trying to scare me, but he made the situation worse because then I just yelled at him back since I had seen the car and therefore had already stopped. His comment to me then was: "I wish you had actually taken drivers ed". (I waited until I was 18 to get my drivers license because I couldn't afford drivers ed).

This statement hurt me because he likes to make fun of my bad driving, and he always makes it about how I'm a woman and women can't drive. This pisses me off. I know plenty of women that can drive really well, I'm just not a natural born driver and happen to be a woman. He makes these comments all the time and I try to argue with him, but he doesn't really listen. There isn't really anything else I can do but keep practicing so that one day I won't be made fun of for my driving. In total I've driven for about 3 months in my life. That's not much and it shows. I suck at parking, I'm always sideways. I take forever to make a turn sometimes when cars are coming because I don't know how fast my car will get me around the corner (it's a piece of crap). I sometimes take the wrong turn, and I'm the worst navigator in the world. When it comes to being on the road, sometimes I'm afraid of being in the car with me.

I don't judge other people based on the road by what they look like or what they drive, but how they drive. If they are driving crazy, I don't to be near them at all. I think that Washington drivers are rather silly for many reasons, but we could go on with that forever so lets skip that. I'm not sure what else I want to say, but I guess leave your comments and we can discuss more?

Not Sure What to Say

I haven't run out of things to talk about per say, just things that are relevant I guess. One thing I can say is though I'm following everyone from Tulalip, I harder have any blogs from. I'm not sure how I can motivate them to post more so that we can all create more discussions between us.

So I'm curious, how are other people's research papers coming? I've finally figured out what I want to do. It's Native Americans in media (movies) vs. reality! It sounds interesting to me at least. I couldn't find something that I wanted to write about for 10 to 15 pages so I explored the world wide web and got some ideas. I'll be spending some time in the library after school today if anyone wants some company while finding sources for annotated bibliography?

Other than that, anyone still need a partner for the artistic response? I'm really looking forward to working with someone and doing an amazing job, let me know.

Art for the Artistic Response

So Seimy is going to do her puppet show, if you are interested in joining her you should post on her blog. Anyway I might be helping them too if they need it, but I'm really interested in doing something artistic. My main idea is to take the picture in Sherman Alexie's book with him compared to a while kid in his school and make the idea my own.

What would be would cool to do is make a life size portrait of the stereotypes of a Native American vs the stereotypes of an average white kid. I think this would be lots of fun but it'll be hard to pull off on my own so I need at least one partner if that's okay. Please let me know by post here or sending me a message at cassi.cascadia@gmail.com.

Invasion Vs. Contact

This was a very powerful movie. One of the elders, a woman, spoke about how when the Spanish came and how in history it is called contact, but she specifically says invasion. She says that, this is what happened because the Spanish didn't just make contact, they destroyed what the Native American's had. This showed a history that isn't as powerful in books or the history that is told to us. These people had everything they needed and wanted, but to those who invaded them the Native American's lacked organization, culture, and religion. In reality, they had more than the invadors could ever think of.

In my mind, I can only think and see that the Native American culture could fail in the future. They have so little left and other people have taken so much, it's hard for me to see them being able to return to the teachings of their ancestors. So much has been lost and I would love to see Native American's return to their teachings, but the way of the world today turns away from culture for materials and wealth. They are strong though, to have kept as much as they have over so many years of discrimination, there is hope.